So... speaking of death, I went to my last Mission Leader Council on Thursday. I was fine, until at the end when President Ostler asked all of us who are about to go home if we would bear our testimonies in front of all the Zone Leaders and Sister Training Leaders. I was actually really surprised, because ever since President Ostler's been here, he's never had any of the going home missionaries bear their testimonies in a meeting like that. Yes, I got really emotional about it. By degrees, it's clicking inside of me that I'm going to be going home, and it kind of breaks my heart that I know I"ll have to leave my calling as a full time missionary and the very wonderful people here in the Philippines. But the Atonement is for everything, including heartbreak from leaving a mission (which encapsulates a life, a way of living, a world,a way of being for the past year and a half) - just never tried to apply it in that way yet.
On exchanges, I went back to my old area in Paranaque 1st ward and it was way nice to teach many of the people I taught there before. It's also a nice feeling to know that there are some relationships I've created here that I could see them 20 years from now and the feelings of love on both our parts wouldn't be lost.
We had a special meeting this week where Elder Robbins (who talked in General Conference) came to talk to all of us missionaries on the mainland in the Manila mission (Palawan got excluded from this one.) Before it, we had a choir practice where we practiced Christmas songs (they're starting a mission choir now, directed by a missionary and they'll be doing a lot with it during Christmas... too bad it doesn't effect me) but Elder Robbins' talk was very amazingly insightful. Something his wife said to us was that, "For those of you going home within the next few months, I don't want you to change back to what you were just because that's what people expect. To quote one returned missionary whom people were trying to get to change back to what he was before, "I spent 2 years (1.5 years) learning how to be weird and I'm going to stay weird!" Now of course everyone just thought he was weird because he wasn't what he used to be. So I plan to retain the most important changes from my mission and not slide back to what I was before either.
I asked Elder Robbins in the question and answer portion of the meeting, "How do you use the gift of discernment in your calling and how can we better use it in our lives?" His answer was amazing, but in part he said, "Our receving gifts of the Spirit begins with a desire for the betterment of the Kingdom of God." That's definitely one thing my mission has instilled in me.
Then there was a special broadcast for the Philippines where Elder Oaks spoke. He quoted the commandment of keeping the Sabbath day holy, but then said that PART of the commandment is that "six days shalt thou labor" and pointed out that "Mormons believe in work." So I really loved that he emphasized that part of the commandment is that we do work during the other six days. Super awesome to have so many special meetings and revelations this week.
I'm loving my mission. That's all that really needs to be said, and it's no where near enough.
-Sister Larsen
Marinda at an earlier Mission Leader Council.
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