Farewell Manila, Welcome to the "Real World"

Tuesday, the 18th was my last day in the mission. (On Monday, I had a final interview with President Ostler where we talked about how I felt about my mission and whether I felt the Lord had accepted my work and efforts, which I did/do.)  On Tuesday, we woke up really early and went to the mission office to drop off our luggage and then we all went to the Manila temple.  That was very, very special to me to go back to the place which had given me so much strength and comfort throughout my mission.  There were so many times when I just wanted to stay inside the temple and never leave it except for the fact that I had people I needed to help and teach to help they themselves prepare to enter that sacred place, and so I always managed to leave and go back to doing missionary work.  This time was no different really, I very much did not want to leave because I knew that my time to leave the Philippines was drawing ever closer.  After we left, we went to the American Cemetery (http://www.abmc.gov/cemeteries-memorials/pacific/manila-american-cemetery).  This cemetery honors all of those who fell in WWII around the Philippines area, both American and Filipino.  There are thousands of white crosses (and Stars of David for those who were Jewish) across the grounds, and the names of thousands of those who sacrificed their lives to give freedom to others.  It was hard for me, in many ways to be there, but so very beautiful at the same time.  When I thought of all those mothers and fathers who sent their sons to the Philippines to protect freedom at that time and then those sons never came back to them, it made me profoundly grateful for the opportunity I knew I'd have to go back home and continue my life, free, in part, because of the sacrifice of those who died so very far from the beautiful open plains of America.

After that, we went to the mission home for a special program including the Ostlers talking to us about marriage, dating, etc. and bearing testimony to us.  Then we had a truly excellent dinner and a testimony meeting with all the missionaries who were going home.  I definitely cried when I bore my testimony, but I really know that my mission is just a part of the larger plan Heavenly Father has for me, not the end - although yes, a very, very defining part of my life.  Even writing this as I'm home right now, it's hard for me to really express just how much Heavenly Father helped, led and guided me throughout the past 18 months, but it's simply the most miraculous single thing I've experienced in my life.  At the conclusion of the testimony meeting (there are some very, very powerful missionaries who have been/are assigned to the Manila mission) and sang "God Be With You Til We Meet Again."  Now, I don't think in my whole life have I ever cried when I've sung that song.  This time, I was leading the music, and on the last verse I just choked up and definitely couldn't sing anymore.  Then President Ostler offered a closing prayer which was one of the single most powerful  prayers I have ever heard offered in my life.  That night, after briefly talking with President and Sister Ostler, I left in tears, but they were tears of gratitude for all the Ostlers had done for me personally and the special experience God had given me to serve the people in the Philippines which I knew had drawn to a close, but would always take up a prominent part of my heart.

The next day we woke up at 2 am, got to the airport, and waited around for a while until our 9:30 flight.  After a layover in Japan and New York, I got home at about 9:30 or so Wednesday night (that was with crossing the international date line or something.)

Being a returned missionary is definitely a weird feeling (can't say it's my favorite feeling either, of disorientation and still not always having the right words in English, haha.) There's so much I want to do and it seems so little time to do it all.  My productivity has definitely decreased since my mission, which I'm trying to remedy as well as I can.  I'm so very grateful for my good friends who I've been able to re-contact after so long, and our friendships are just as sweet and I love them just as much. They've also all made positive changes in their life and seen a lot of progression, which has been wonderful to see in them and my dear family.  I miss my mission, but I can see that the connections I have here at home are important and it was time to come back and strengthen those friendships and relationships I do have, with my friends and family.

I figure this will be my last post on this blog.  My mission was the single most intense and defining event of my life so far.  I've never given so much for so long and received so much in return.  I'm excited for what happens next in life, and I know that as I continue to put Heavenly Father first in my life, I'll receive His guidance each day.

-Marinda