Farewell Manila, Welcome to the "Real World"

Tuesday, the 18th was my last day in the mission. (On Monday, I had a final interview with President Ostler where we talked about how I felt about my mission and whether I felt the Lord had accepted my work and efforts, which I did/do.)  On Tuesday, we woke up really early and went to the mission office to drop off our luggage and then we all went to the Manila temple.  That was very, very special to me to go back to the place which had given me so much strength and comfort throughout my mission.  There were so many times when I just wanted to stay inside the temple and never leave it except for the fact that I had people I needed to help and teach to help they themselves prepare to enter that sacred place, and so I always managed to leave and go back to doing missionary work.  This time was no different really, I very much did not want to leave because I knew that my time to leave the Philippines was drawing ever closer.  After we left, we went to the American Cemetery (http://www.abmc.gov/cemeteries-memorials/pacific/manila-american-cemetery).  This cemetery honors all of those who fell in WWII around the Philippines area, both American and Filipino.  There are thousands of white crosses (and Stars of David for those who were Jewish) across the grounds, and the names of thousands of those who sacrificed their lives to give freedom to others.  It was hard for me, in many ways to be there, but so very beautiful at the same time.  When I thought of all those mothers and fathers who sent their sons to the Philippines to protect freedom at that time and then those sons never came back to them, it made me profoundly grateful for the opportunity I knew I'd have to go back home and continue my life, free, in part, because of the sacrifice of those who died so very far from the beautiful open plains of America.

After that, we went to the mission home for a special program including the Ostlers talking to us about marriage, dating, etc. and bearing testimony to us.  Then we had a truly excellent dinner and a testimony meeting with all the missionaries who were going home.  I definitely cried when I bore my testimony, but I really know that my mission is just a part of the larger plan Heavenly Father has for me, not the end - although yes, a very, very defining part of my life.  Even writing this as I'm home right now, it's hard for me to really express just how much Heavenly Father helped, led and guided me throughout the past 18 months, but it's simply the most miraculous single thing I've experienced in my life.  At the conclusion of the testimony meeting (there are some very, very powerful missionaries who have been/are assigned to the Manila mission) and sang "God Be With You Til We Meet Again."  Now, I don't think in my whole life have I ever cried when I've sung that song.  This time, I was leading the music, and on the last verse I just choked up and definitely couldn't sing anymore.  Then President Ostler offered a closing prayer which was one of the single most powerful  prayers I have ever heard offered in my life.  That night, after briefly talking with President and Sister Ostler, I left in tears, but they were tears of gratitude for all the Ostlers had done for me personally and the special experience God had given me to serve the people in the Philippines which I knew had drawn to a close, but would always take up a prominent part of my heart.

The next day we woke up at 2 am, got to the airport, and waited around for a while until our 9:30 flight.  After a layover in Japan and New York, I got home at about 9:30 or so Wednesday night (that was with crossing the international date line or something.)

Being a returned missionary is definitely a weird feeling (can't say it's my favorite feeling either, of disorientation and still not always having the right words in English, haha.) There's so much I want to do and it seems so little time to do it all.  My productivity has definitely decreased since my mission, which I'm trying to remedy as well as I can.  I'm so very grateful for my good friends who I've been able to re-contact after so long, and our friendships are just as sweet and I love them just as much. They've also all made positive changes in their life and seen a lot of progression, which has been wonderful to see in them and my dear family.  I miss my mission, but I can see that the connections I have here at home are important and it was time to come back and strengthen those friendships and relationships I do have, with my friends and family.

I figure this will be my last post on this blog.  My mission was the single most intense and defining event of my life so far.  I've never given so much for so long and received so much in return.  I'm excited for what happens next in life, and I know that as I continue to put Heavenly Father first in my life, I'll receive His guidance each day.

-Marinda

"O Death, Where Is Thy Sting?"

1 Corinthians 15:55-58

 55 O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

 56 The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.

 57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmoveable,always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

So that about says it.  Yes, I'm "dying" off my mission, but I know that I can always abound in good works even after the mission, and stay steadfast in the things I've learned are really, truly important.  It doesn't sting as much as it would otherwise to leave so much behind if I wasn't taking so much back with me in my heart and soul.

On a different note - I met Joseph Smith this week.  Actually, he was just the 14 year old kid of a member family who had decided to name their kid that.  Pretty cool, though.  

Brother John Michael was baptized this week!  We've been teaching him the whole transfer, and he has great faith and moved to Manila with his family but he himself was not a member although they were.  He really wants to go on a mission.  It was very special for me to be able to see him baptized as the last baptism in my mission.

Yesterday, Sunday, the primary had their primary program where the kids sang and recited things for sacrament meeting.  All the little girls wore white and the boys had white shirts because their theme was "the temple."  I definitely teared up some during it because I knew it was my last Sunday here and they really are so sweet, and I remembered having been in the primary program myself so many times so many years ago.  I am truly, truly going to miss the dear Filipino people after my mission, and their kindness and openness which are qualities that are harder and harder to find in many countries today.

We also were certified by the ZL's (and we certified them as well - one of our ZL's is also going home this transfer so we both wanted to certify before leaving the mission) to be "Master Gospel Teachers" of Preach My Gospel, lessons one through five.  Feels good.  I know I"ll keep using the doctrines I've learned on my mission throughout my whole life.

A quote from Bishop:

Which one is more committed to the making of a ham and egg sandwich - the pig or the chicken?

The pig of course!  He gives his whole self while the chicken only gives a little bit.  Let us all be fully committed to doing missionary work!

He said that at the missionary devotional we had yesterday.  It was hard to say goodbye to the ward.  They had myself and the ZL who's going home bear our testimonies at the devotional. That was also hard, and I really am quite emotional about leaving these people that I love so much.

I know that being a missionary never really ends.  I also know that Heavenly Father guides us every step of the way in life, and that I don't need to worry too much as long as I'm on the straight and narrow path and doing my best to continuously move forward.  I look forward to seeing many of you soon, and I testify that Heavenly Father wants every single one of His children to be happy, and the single way to do that is through living the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Much Love,

Sister Larsen

The Time is Far Spent or Something Like That

I'd like to share a scripture from Isaiah 5:19:

 19 That say, Let him make speed, and hasten his work, that we may see it: and let the counsel of the Holy One of Israel draw nigh and come, that we may know it!

So, although this is more talking Messianicly, I chose to relate this one to myself for some pretty obvious reasons.  I like that it's implying here that we hasten the work because we want to receive Christ's judgement upon it/His counsel.  I know that in some small way, my mission has been a part of His plan for all of His children.  I'm so grateful for the opportunity I've had to be a part of it, and at the same time all of the changes He has wrought in my heart as I have fallen in love with my mission, and seen such great miracles as other people have had the same mighty change of heart wrought in them through the Spirit.

This week's been pretty insane.  I don't have much of a chance to think about going home or anything else because we have so much stuff we're doing here!  I'll give a rough outline of our week:

Monday - District activity.  That's our district in the picture.  We went to a member's house and played some games and ate food.  It was pretty awesome :)  I'm really going to miss this district, definitely one of my favorite districts from my whole mission.

Tuesday - Zone Meeting.  Sister Slade and I were assigned by the ZL's to talk about helping our recent converts and less-actives prepare to enter the temple, and what things we need to do in our families to really help our eternal ties to grow.  

Wednesday - Exchanges that were really far away from us (we both went to their area to conduct the exchange.)  It was the first time I've ridden the LRT or MRT, which is like the metro in DC (like, city train thing for mass transport.)  Can't say that's my favorite, I prefer taking the buses here.

Thursday - We had choir practice for the Christmas choir that will be happening in December (I go along although obviously I won't be there for that) and then right after we went into another exchange with Sisters closer to us.

Friday - Woke up early, had to go back with all the other Elders and Sisters who will be leaving at the same time to the immigration office to fix something else with our visas that they didn't know we had to do the first time.  That was a fun 3.5 hours, haha.

Saturday - Our ward had a Family Home Evening that was pretty awesome.  The youth did a dance again, but this time it was swing dance.  Their American style costumes were pretty awesome, haha, and a lot of their moves were pretty good.  During a lull in the program Bishop called myself and Sister Slade up to sing on the spot.

Sunday - We did more certification with the ZL's for becoming "master gospel teachers."  We're still on track to be certified before I leave.

So, yeah, we barely have time to breathe.  I kind of like it that way though.  No time to get trunky, although Sister Slade pointed out to me that I should probably start packing or something like that since we won't have any time this next week either.  Still no time today though; we have a Zone activity that should be way fun!  I'm okay with being this busy right now though; although sometimes I wonder at what point I'm going to collapse from exhaustion/stress - keeping the stress under control, but only through a lot of prayers and divine intervention :)  

I am a little excited to go back home, but mostly I don't think about it too much right now.  Ask me by the end of this week and I might have a different answer for you.  We have a lot of things planned, and it's just as busy as this past week for this week.  I'm excited though, every little (or big) effort can make a huge difference in a mission of 250 missionaries.  I'm so grateful for every single thing I've learned on my mission, and for every opportunity I've had to serve God's children. I can't even begin to express the joy my mission has given me, or the very welcome and needed changes in my soul that have tempered me to always turn to God for my guidance, answers, and peace.  I love this work and I know that there really isn't any end to serving, loving, and helping others.  I'll be seeing some of you all soon, and I'm looking forward to some very happy reunions, and seeing many of you whom I love so dearly and have felt connected to even after a year and a half.

Much love,

Sister Larsen

Took this picture on exchanges on the top of the Sister's apartment building.  It's super awesome.  I'm way proud of its artistic value :)

All Soul's Day

So November 2nd is All Soul's Day, but pretty much from the 31st of October to Nov. 2nd Filipinos just celebrate some combination of Halloween and "visit your ancestors' graves and party there" for those few days.  Pretty awesome. They sleep at or near or around the graves and just have like a ton of fun from what I saw when we passed by some of the cemeteries here in Paranaque.  We tried explaining to some members that Americans are afraid of cemeteries, especially at night, and they totally didn't get it, haha.

So... speaking of death, I went to my last Mission Leader Council on Thursday.  I was fine, until at the end when President Ostler asked all of us who are about to go home if we would bear our testimonies in front of all the Zone Leaders and Sister Training Leaders.  I was actually really surprised, because ever since President Ostler's been here, he's never had any of the going home missionaries bear their testimonies in a meeting like that.  Yes, I got really emotional about it.  By degrees, it's clicking inside of me that I'm going to be going home, and it kind of breaks my heart that I know I"ll have to leave my calling as a full time missionary and the very wonderful people here in the Philippines.  But the Atonement is for everything, including heartbreak from leaving a mission (which encapsulates a life, a way of living, a world,a  way of being for the past year and a half) - just never tried to apply it in that way yet.

On exchanges, I went back to my old area in Paranaque 1st ward and it was way nice to teach many of the people I taught there before.  It's also a nice feeling to know that there are some relationships I've created here that I could see them 20 years from now and the feelings of love on both our parts wouldn't be lost.

We had a special meeting this week where Elder Robbins (who talked in General Conference) came to talk to all of us missionaries on the mainland in the Manila mission (Palawan got excluded from this one.)  Before it, we had a choir practice where we practiced Christmas songs (they're starting a mission choir now, directed by a missionary and they'll be doing a lot with it during Christmas... too bad it doesn't effect me) but Elder Robbins' talk was very amazingly insightful.  Something his wife said to us was that, "For those of you going home within the next few months, I don't want you to change back to what you were just because that's what people expect.  To quote one returned missionary whom people were trying to get to change back to what he was before, "I spent 2 years (1.5 years) learning how to be weird and I'm going to stay weird!"  Now of course everyone just thought he was weird because he wasn't what he used to be.  So I plan to retain the most important changes from my mission and not slide back to what I was before either.

I asked Elder Robbins in the question and answer portion of the meeting, "How do you use the gift of discernment in your calling and how can we better use it in our lives?"  His answer was amazing, but in part he said, "Our receving gifts of the Spirit begins with a desire for the betterment of the Kingdom of God."  That's definitely one thing my mission has instilled in me.

Then there was a special broadcast for the Philippines where Elder Oaks spoke. He quoted the commandment of keeping the Sabbath day holy, but then said that PART of the commandment is that "six days shalt thou labor" and pointed out that "Mormons believe in work."  So I really loved that he emphasized that part of the commandment is that we do work during the other six days.  Super awesome to have so many special meetings and revelations this week.

I'm loving my mission. That's all that really needs to be said, and it's no where near enough.

-Sister Larsen

Marinda at an earlier Mission Leader Council.